


'39

by Soobiebear



Category: Def Leppard
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 12:10:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20309275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soobiebear/pseuds/Soobiebear
Summary: Written as a gift for fairy11, as part of 2018's A Very Kinky Rockfic Ficmas Fest. The prompt was 'Joe Elliott,Rick Savage (Def Leppard): Unrequited love, from Joe`s perspective.'





	'39

The daft sod came all the way to Dublin to talk to me. He could have texted or called, even emailed, but no he had to disrupt my routine and invade my space and drop a bomb on me. 

After all these years, Rick Savage wanted to live together.

Mind, losing Paige had been hard on him and he probably had a touch of the old Alzheimers, but even I thought he was losing what little faculties he had left.

Age took a painful bite out of my knee and left my back in a wreck, but Sav somehow managed to move with the ease of someone half his age. He didn't need an invalid like me hobbling around and complaining about the daily weather changes in good old dreary Ireland. My last wife left me again, and Finley had long since grown up and moved to New York, leaving me alone in a house much too big for a single OAP.

Oh, Sav wanted me to move back to Sheffield, that's right. Not that the weather was any nicer nor the porridge any better for my bowels. 'It'll be fun,' he says, giggling slightly like only the senile can. I looked at the man standing across from me, grey, slouched, wrinkled, and knew I'd be moving back to England after forty years as a ex-pat. Never really could say no to him. 

So in the year of '39 - my life revolved around songs - I found myself living in a small country cottage with the love of my life. One sided as it were; Sav had always been as straight as an arrow, even during the strangeness that was the 1980s. I was too, except for him and a few others that were long gone. Never tried to make a move on him either. He wouldn't go for it and I didn't want to ruin our friendship and working relationship. 

What a sight he was. He stooped a bit now from all the time shouldering a heavy bass, but walked around freely. My cane was a permanent fixture in my hand, the walker for days the arthritis was bad. I refused to get any sort of wheelchair or mobility device as Fin put it. Once you get into those things you don't get out of 'em. So I hobble. Sav glides. He bends easily to pick things off the floor and doesn't seem to have caught on that I drop things more often than is accidental. Half of me is envious. I'd be stuck on the floor for a week. Half of me just admires the view.

"Which pill did you need again?" He popped his head in the sitting room, already forgotten why he was in the bathroom digging through the pill box.

"The Robicoxon." I swear, my new GP was a pervert. Sav's pill regimen was easy, just one for a bit of blood pressure. His jaw dropped when he saw my box of meds. You name it, I had it. Spent more time at the bloody chemist than anywhere else these days. Sav had the whole cardboard box with him, and was peering at labels, reading the small print.

"Metho-carb-e-mall?" He peered over his glasses. "Orange tabs?" I nodded. The cramp in my back wasn't going away by itself. Sav managed to fish out a pill and set it in my palm. "Be right back." He shoved off into the kitchen again for what I hoped was some water. Once the coating on the pill wore off it tasted horrible.

The place was small enough that I could watch him work, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filling it in the fridge. In profile he could have been thirty years old, the bastard, still wearing trendy clothes and having his hair cut in a more modern bob than I'd ever seen on him. I think my looks stopped changing at fifty, and by the time I'd hit sixty five the girls no longer looked at me. Shame really. Never did find another girl after Kristine left. 

"Here ya go," Sav said as he handed over my water.

"Fanks." If the pill worked I might be able to get off the couch today and do something productive. If not more reruns awaited me. No longer living the high life, eh Elliott?

"You want to do anything later?" Sav was incessantly tidying up the sitting room, shuffling through the tablets and screens littering the coffee table. He piled them up and pushed them to the middle, setting them over the wireless charger. 

I shrugged. "No plans." I could never plan anything anymore between my broken back and broken guts just getting out of bed some days was a miracle. "You got any ideas?"

"John's grandson says there's a new Italian place opening near Stannington. Thought maybe we could try it for an early supper."

"Meh," I blew off the suggestion. "Too far of a drive."

Sav paused his cleaning. "It's barely fifteen minutes. Maybe twenty if you actually stop at all the signs."

"Yes, and even if we get there at four, assuming they serve that early, we won't be out until six and it'll be dark by then."

"So?" Sav countered, hand on his hip and ready for an argument. Maybe he hadn't expected to live with an invalid.

"You know I don't see well enough in the dark to drive." He'd been pushing me to get that blasted eye surgery that I didn't want. I saw just fine when it was light out.

"Then I'll drive."

"Hell no, Mr. I Didn't See That Wall There."

Sav's eyes narrowed. "That was twenty years ago."

"Thirty now, and I'm lucky to be alive."

He let the insult of his driving skills pass. It was an old argument. "We'll get a driver then. No one drives themselves anymore. Siri?"

_BING BING!_ "Yes, Richard?"

"Oh come off it, I'm not getting in one of those ridiculous...." Sav proceeded to talk right over my objections.

"Siri, can I schedule a ride from here to Stannington for four in the afternoon today?"

_BONG!_ "An Uber Light can pick you up at 3:42 or a Farri Gold is available at 4:15."

"Thanks Siri. Hold off on that for now and I'll let you know later." He was glaring at me. Again.

_BING!_Joe's blood glucose readings have been trending high the last several days. Would you like to hear a list of vegetarian restaurants in that area?"

That's it, I'm finding that damn Robotic Overlord box and throwing it into the river.

"No, Siri, not right now, thank you. Done." 

_BONG BONG_

Siri shut herself off. 

"I thought you said she didn't eavesdrop?"

Sav rolled his eyes. "Oh come off it ya paranoid git."

I grumped quietly on the couch, knowing I'd have to shower and shave and drag an extra bolus of insulin with me for all that pasta. I hated that stupid Siri and how it connected to everything in the house, nagging me to take my pills or not to eat the ice cream in the freezer. I liked my cell phone and the internet and all that but the self driving cars and technology was too much.

"Now you're mad." Sav had his head tilted to the side, hands still on his hips. He was cute when he was upset.

"I'm not mad." I moved the wrong way and my back tweaked again. Bloody pill better kick in soon.

"Yeah you are, you've got your nose up in the air and you've gone all quiet." Sav was pointing at me now. "When does Joe Elliott ever go quiet?"

"Piss off, Savage. Just because you don't know how to say anything in public..."

"How can I talk when you won't let me get a edge in?" Sav had been leaning closer to me with each volley, small steps that if I baited him long enough would have him fall into my lap. 

"You never needed to." Round and round the old arguments went, filling in the days when there was nothing better to do. "Everyone wanted to talk to the singer, the front man, the rest of you didn't have the balls."

He was practically at my toes by now, enough to get a good view of those beautiful blue eyes. They were currently starring daggers at me, but any attention was good attention. "Bollocks, Joe. I had a lot to say, hell, even Steve had a lot to say when you could get him alone, but we were all drowned out by yer big gob." It almost sounded like he said 'your big knob' and I couldn't hold back the smirk. He'd missed a spot on his neck while shaving. Probably wouldn't be a good time to mention it. "Are you even listening?"

The smirk wouldn't leave my face. He could have a look at my big knob any time. Uh oh, maybe I should lose the smirk, Sav really didn't look happy.

"Are you in there?" He must have noticed me starting at his neck, because his hand immediately flew to the few hairs he had missed. 

"You missed a spot." It wasn't fair to have a laugh at his disability, but if after eighty years that was all he had wrong with him he could take a little ribbing.

Sav rubbed at the rough whiskers. "Joe..." he sighed.

"Sorry, mate. You know I love riling you up."

"Yeah, I noticed." He sighed and plopped himself down on the cushion next to mine. It was enough of a bounce to tweak my back again. He never remembered little things like that, probably because his back was just fine. "Back still hurting?"

Yes. Horrifically. "Yeah." There was little point in complaining. It didn't make me feel better and everyone got tired of listening to my shit generations ago.

Sav made a noise. "Wanna stay in then? I can do up a stir fry or something."

I'd eaten more vegetables since moving in the Sav than I'd eaten in my entire life. "I want a Featherblade, from old Johnnie Foxs'." Their beef used to melt on your tongue, and the gravy was always warm and rich, with the creamiest mash ever. "That was a meal."

"You're not in Stepaside anymore." I knew that, trust me, I knew that. Sav's head rested on the back of the sofa, and he turned his head to use his good eye, the palsy kicking in again after our argument.

"Any pubs around here with a good meat pie and a pint?" I could handle going out for his sake, but there would have to be meat involved. Nice kidney pie or a steak or summat like that. A proper meal.

"We are not going into town. No way." 

"Oh, so taking twenty minutes to go over the river is fine, but let's not go into the city, that makes sense."

"There're aren't any Irish Pubs this side of the city and you know it."

"Doesn't have to be Irish." Why was everything with him such a problem? "I just don't want arugula and sprouts." Sav was quiet now. I'd turned down his offer of Italian and stir fry and felt a bit dickish about it. "What about that other place, the Gardener's Rest?"

Sav frowned, but only on one side. "Too far, and my car'll get nicked."

I had a better idea. "How about the Broadfield." He could have his salad and sadness and I could have my pie.

"The mushy peas?" He looked excited. Disgusting. I nodded and was rewarded with a smile. "Sold. And we can stop at the Tesco while we're out."

Shit, groceries. Maybe if I was drunk. Sav was looking at me expectantly. "Alright, but we're getting some wine."

"Thanks," Sav said before bounding off the couch. I'd break a hip trying to do that. "Gonna shower and get this spot." He rubbed at his neck again. "Bloody eye, only half works."

He was gone and the shower was running before I could even haul my ass off the couch in search of some socks and shoes. I struggled to reach my feet and finally caught my big toe in my sock when Sav came back dressed in only his trousers.

"Have you seen my blue shirt?"

"No, mate," I wheezed, bent in half and feeling like I was dying. The damned sock slipped off my toe. "Bugger." Double bugger. He looked delicious, and If I could still get it up I would have been all over him.

"Let me help ya before yas fall over." Without even asking he grabbed the sock from my hand and got down on a knee, hoisting my foot up to slide the sock on. Well, treatment like this I could probably get used to. "Other one." He held out his hand as I clutched the last sock, handing it over before my still hyperimaginative brain could think about Sav kneeling before me. "There, done." He smiled and went off in search of his missing shirt.

There were times I wished I could still jerk off, instead I tucked away the image of Sav's freshly showered face turned up to look at me away for another lifetime wherein I didn't have prostate surgery. 

"Need help?" Sav was leaning against the doorway now, smirking as I held my shoes and stared off into nothing. He found his shirt, pity, but he looked just as good with it as without it.

"No, just gonna go barefoot," I grumbled. Had half a mind to do it, shoes were such stupid things. Sav got my shoes on and helped me stand up. Could have probably done it on my own, but Sav held me as I steadied myself and I took what small consolations I could get. 

I let him drive and we hobbled into the ancient establishment, very happy to see that some things never changed. It could have been the 70s or the 20s, a classic pub always looked the same. We grabbed one of the smaller tables and ordered food, waiting patiently for the beer to start flowing. Sav played on his phone to pass the time, and I probably could have too, but decided just to people watch while I was out. Mixed crowd this early in the evening. A few people our age and a few who'd obviously just gotten off work. Bit early for any sort of real crowd and my eyes traveled back to Sav after rounding the room.

I was glad he'd dragged me back to Sheffield. The taxes were going to be crippling but at least I wasn't alone anymore. Sav set his phone down and let those stupid glasses slide down his nose. "Do you want to catch a movie after supper?"

There hadn't been a good movie out in over a decade and my back was already hurting from the twisty Hallam roads and this uncomfortable wooden chair I'd sat on. "Don't think my back'll take it." He frowned, must be something he wanted to see. "But we can watch one back home if you want."

"Fair enough," Sav compromised. "Get some wine and popcorn around the corner and make a night of it."

"God, we're old."

He had the nerve to laugh. It tinkled like piano keys through the mostly empty eatery. "Maybe you are. My brain still thinks I'm twenty."

"Ever think we'd end up here?" Our beers arrived but the food was still a while off. I often marveled at the ride my life had been and wondered if Sav felt the same.

"At the pub?" Sav asked and I squinted at him. He knew what I meant. "Ah, yeah, been a trip, hasn't it? Never thought about myself being eighty really." He took his glasses off and set them on top of his phone. "Can't complain, but sometimes I still do." I caught the old reference and smiled back fondly.

"Never a truer song out there." I raised my glass slightly. "Cheers." 

"Cheers, mate," he said as he gently clinked our glasses together. It was an old pain and easily covered. Friends it was because anything else was impossible. "You know we've been together longer than my parents?" I damn near choked on my beer, coughing slightly. "Mum and dad were together for forty years. Recon we passed that in 2017 or so."

Joe remembered that audition fondly. Clinging on to his beaten Fender, bombing out massively but finding his place as a singer. And there was this cute little curly haired thing on bass in the tightest denim he'd ever seen... "Been a lifetime."

"It has, but I wouldn't change it. Would you?" Sav was looking over the lip of his beer, if Joe hadn't known better he would have said almost coquettishly. 

"Can't think of anyone better." I chimed by glass against Sav's again. "Here's to the next sixty."

"Dear God, no." Sav took a big sip of his beer. "Don't get me wrong, I love my life, but I don't want to be Keith Richards." Poor Keith, who was hovering hear one hundred years old and still floating between Jamaica and London with a guitar over his shoulder, having out lived everyone around him.

"If I ever start looking like an Egyptian Mummy, you have my permission to take me out back and shoot me." Joe knew he wouldn't make the One Hundred Club, but Sav just might. "Don't leave me in a care home with a mean Filipino nurse."

"Same here. When I need the adult diapers, just push me off the bridge." The tone soured and Sav sighed. "I miss Paige horribly." He still wore his wedding band, and her initials were inked into his flesh.

"You can have Kristine," I tried to joke. I wished I could miss her, but she was still out there, prone to causing a scene at the exact wrong time. Thank god the divorce went through fairly smoothly. 

Sav glared. "That's not funny." He wasn't laughing. Shit.

"Sorry." Poor joke aside, Sav pouted quietly until the food arrived. A few people came into the pub. A few left. I could have been a security guard if the music thing hadn't worked out. My pie looked delicious, steaming hot and smothered in gravy. I looked over to see what Sav ordered. "The hell is that?" 

Sav spun his plate on the table. "Fried tofu balls, lumpia, and a salad." He poked at the stick looking things with his fork. "You'd like the lumpia if you tried them."

"You ordered rocks, twigs, and garden clippings at a pub?" I cut a slice into my pie to let it cool down. "Savage, I will never understand you."

He dipped one of his lumpia into some sort of red sauce. "You stick to your meat and potatoes and arthritis and diabetes and leave my salad alone Joe."

We ate in silence, comfortable with each other and not needing to natter on with full mouths. Drinks were refilled and Sav even cut me part of one lumpia to try. Tasted like an egg roll. He didn't want to try my pie - his loss.

It was dark by the time plates were cleared. The crowd was starting to get younger and louder and it was time to go. 

Tesco's was a write off. Turns out it was a Tesco Express filled with a few basics and booze and not much else. Still managed to spend a hundred quid and we would be drinking our next few meals. The bottles rattled as Sav loaded up the boot. Maybe half would be unbroken by the time we got back home. Sometimes I think I'd be safer riding with Rick. At least he learned his lesson.

We arrived safely home, and I promptly sat on the sofa. It was a lot of travel for me today and I was worn out. Sav was hauling the groceries in and putting them up. I'd help if I could, but I can't and that's the end of that. 

"Joe!" He called from the kitchen.

"Yeah?" I hoped I didn't have to get up. This spot wasn't too bad on my back and hips.

"Red or white?" Sav hollered back. We'd agreed to stick to the OAP limit of ten quid a bottle once I discovered Sav's love of £200 Californians. That had been a costly, drunken night. 

"Red," I decided, mostly deferring to his tastes. I'd've been fine with a Guinness, but honestly the wines he'd been picking up tasted pretty damn good.

"Right," I head him say mostly to himself as the popcorn started going. I was still full from supper, but after looking at his lawn clippings and twigs I wasn't surprised that he was still hungry. He made a quick run to the couch to drop off the wine as I started flipping through movies on my phone. Seen it, seen it twice, tripe, crap, ancient, nauseatingly romantic, all horrible choices.

He came back with a mouth stuffed full of popcorn. I raised an eyebrow as he set the bucket between us and finished chewing. "Had to make sure there was enough salt," he managed after a sip of wine. "Wine's good, try it."

"In good time." I found a movie and cast it to the TV, flipping my glasses up on top of my head and tossing the phone on the table. Sav winced, the Iphone had been an outrageous sum at the time, but had quickly been replaced with a newer model and the price bottomed out.

I picked a good action movie that I'd knew we'd both seen before. There was comfort in familiarity. It had explosions and intrigue and a enough of a plot to hold the attention. 

"Wow, Chris Pratt." Sav shoveled in another handful of popcorn. I'd be lucky to get in a few bites. "Shame about him, I thought he was aging very nicely."

He'd gone slightly grey and classically lined before ultimately losing his life. "Think this was his last movie, wasn't it?" It had been years ago and I never did follow celebrity gossip.

"No, there was one more, the James Bond type one."

Oh, yeah, I'd forgotten that one. Aside from being his last movie it was largely forgettable. The popcorn was gone within twenty minutes, and the rest of the bottle shortly thereafter. We knew the movie well enough that Sav took the dishes out to the kitchen while the movie ran on - he wouldn't miss anything he hadn't already seen.

He landed a little closer to me than normal when he came back. He quickly slouched against me without an arm of the sofa to lean against. I let him lean. I wasn't picky and took whatever touch I could get. Sav nuzzled even closer, burrowing into my side. I dropped my arm around him, holding him against me. He was shaking slightly and far too quiet from our usual banter. It didn't match the scene in the movie, the car bomb was about to go off. Sav sniffled, not one of his normal palsy sniffles either.

"Hey," I said softly, tightening my arm around his shoulders. He hid his face from me. "Hey, what's wrong?"

A nose pressed harder into my ribs. I leaned forward and hit the pause button on my phone. It was enough to dislodge him slightly and I could see the tears streaming down his face. He dove into me again when I sat back. 

"Hey, shush, it's alright." I was always crap at comforting the upset. I made people cry, not helped soothe their tears away. Not knowing what to do I started stroking his hair. It worked when Rhonda was a baby, maybe it would work on Sav.

"I don't want... to be... a widower," he got out between hiccups. Poor bastard. I hadn't heard sobs like that since Phil landed against the same shoulder. There wasn't anything I could do except let him cry it out. My heart broke for him. Words failed; not a single thing that I could say would take away his pain. I reached out and kissed the top of his head, leaning my face against his skull as the heaving sobs slowly died out. 

He went from crying to snoring and I didn't want to dislodge him. He's made a mess out of my shirt but his presence was soothing. His breath fanned across my shirt and I could feel his heartbeat under his warm skin. If only I'd had fifty years of this instead of being a coward...

"C'mon Savage. Off to bed with you." We couldn't stay like this on the sofa. There was simply no falling asleep anywhere but a bed these days. He roused slightly and I had to push at him to get him going. "Get up."

He sniffled and roused, wiping at his face but keeping his contact with me. "Siri," "What time is it?"

I was finding the batteries on that thing and ending it tomorrow morning.

"It is twelve forty three GMT."

"Thanks," Sav was muffled by my shoulder, but apparently Siri understood because she made her insipid _bong_ noise. Sav made no move to get up and I didn't have the heart to force him, he fit comfortably against me, and again, I took whatever I could get. "I don't want to sleep alone," he confessed out of nowhere. 

My first thought was to go to the pub and pick up some girls, until I remembered at our age most ladies were in a care home. Right. So that meant...

"Just stay in my room tonight, Joe. I'm so lost without Paige." He started to cry again but reigned it in. "It'll be just like the old days."

Ah, yes, the bad old days. Sharing beds out of poverty, and waiting for Sav to start snoring before I hurriedly tossed off and got a few hours of sleep beside him. He never found out and I wanted to keep it that way. Now I'd just be tormented with no relief. It was like an itch I couldn't scratch. Fucking horrible. "Alright," I agreed against my better judgement. I hadn't had my restraint tested in a long time and I was notoriously horrible at self control. His eyes were red and puffy and he was so utterly destroyed. I was going to regret this, but how could I say no?

Sav had the bottle to look sheepish or grateful, some odd combination. "Fanks," he said again before slowly getting up and starting on his routine. "Take your pills and come to bed."

It took a minute to get over my shock and haul myself off the sofa, listening to the water run in the small bathroom as Sav got ready. I pissed about in my bedroom until I heard the floorboards creak in his room. Hurriedly I pulled on a pair of sleeping bottoms and made the short walk to his room, leaning against the doorframe in hesitation, no longer sure that this was such a good idea. He was already busily turning down the comforter and fluffing pillows. The room suddenly was foreboding, done up in a horrid Owl's blue scheme and smelling much too much of Sav.

"Well? Come in, you can't sleep in the door." He'd opted to go shirtless as well and managed to pull it off much better then my scarred old carapace. Sav flicked on a bedside light. "Get the switch, yeah?"

The light dimmed as the overhead lights shut off, the lone lamp drawing long shadows over Sav's body. There was nothing left to do but crawl to the bed and hide under the plush looking duvet. The mattress was softer than I expected, and it held firm, keeping my aching back in alignment. I'd have to check the old tagger and see where he'd gotten this as it was far better than mine.

Sav waited for me to settle in, pulling the sheet and duvet up over my chest. I would fling it off as soon as the light went out but it was hardly worth making as issue out of it.

"Ready?" He was still sitting on the edge of the bed, one hand out towards the lamp. 

The pillow under my head got one more fluff until my neck was comfortable. "Yeah."

The last light went out with a click and I felt Sav get under the covers. I could only sleep flat on my back these days, and briefly thought about warning him of my increased snoring. Sav turned again, curling up on his side like he always had. "G'night Joe. And thanks."

I felt him move again, jumping slightly as his fingers blindly groped before holding my hand. I wanted to hold him, kiss him, watch him put those fingers in all the places he never did. Instead I squeezed back. "Night Richard." It was far better to chase away some of his darkness than to drag him into mine.


End file.
